A eventful week.

Hello friends! I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday weekend! I don't know about anything else but i am more than ready for fall! It's my favorite season. Us michiganders had a very hot summer this season! I spent the holiday at home with hubby. We went to a friends bbq and that was it. Just a nice, quiet weekend. The past week was pretty eventful for me. I also started to feel a bit better, as i was starting to get really depressed by this infertility for the first time. I made a big decision after a lot thinking. On tuesday i started seeing a therapist to help me deal with my feelings through this infertility journey. It was a hard decision to make and in a way i felt defeated. It's kinda hard to explain but if you have been through IF then you probably understand. However, this ended up being a wonderful thing. At first i thought i was going to go out of my mind looking for a therapist that even took my insurance. I didn't need to worry though because God guided me to the right person. I feel very blessed to be seeing melissa. She is absolutely wonderful! She truly understands what i am going through and when i talk to her it feels more like i am talking to a friend then a therapist. She is a christian and so she understand how important my faith is to me. In fact the whole practice is christian based. I had my second session with her tonight and already in just two sessions i feel a inner peace in me that i have not felt in a long time. I believe that God guided me to her for a reason.

On thursday i went to a book club/support group that is lead by my friend amy's mom. It was the first time i went. We are reading The Red Tent. It is about the woman in the bible and there are alot of issues in it that relate to infertility such as the story of rachel. Normally the group is four people-amy, her mom, me and amy says she has another friend that is also going through infertility that normally attends. On thursday however it was just me, amy, and her mom. I can't even begin to tell you how wonderful it was to be able to pour out my heart and feelings to people that have been through what i am going through. Our stories and experiences are all different but we all either have or had the same feelings and emotions. Amy's mom is a great listener and knows just what to say and what advice to give. Amy herself is not a friend i have had long, but she is someone that knows and understands what i am feeling, the questions i have, my fears, hopes, ect. She has struggled with infertility as well and knows what a lonely and painful journey it can be. I believe that God also brought her into my life to so that i can have a shoulder to lean on and someone to help me in best and worst times throughout this journey. Amy has survived infertility and has two beautiful girls that her and her husband adopted through foster care. Amy i thank you for being there for me in the short time that we have become friends! You are a amazing, mom, teacher, and friend! If anyone in the metro detroit area is looking for a support group please email me at ronsprincess@yahoo.com

Finally, i had a appointment with my RE yesterday. I have been on etstridol for the past week to thicken the lining of my uterus. I had a ultrasound and bloodwork yesterday and was put on promietrium for twelve days. I should get a menstrual cycle about a week after taking the two drugs. At that time i can finally start my cycle of injections! I don't know how i feel about that. Part of me is excited but part of me is dreading it. Dreading learning how to inject myself, actually injecting myself, the side effects, and the negative pregnancy test that will follow two weeks later. I am not trying to be negative but i know this is not going to work. I know it like i know that grass is green. There is no way that i would be lucky enough for these drugs to actually work. However, i still will continue to put my faith in God and let him guide me. I know that guide can create miracles, i just wish he would create one for me.